forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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