You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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