god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize