Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
