i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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