Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
