some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
