Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
