well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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