if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
