three words: i give head
three words: not that well
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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