she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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