What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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