I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
