You work out of a Hotel?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
