I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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