the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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