my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
operation have a gay friend backfired
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
i need some magic done to my vagina
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
