I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize