"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
