It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
