I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
