I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
