oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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