She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
