I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize