Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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