i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
