note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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