ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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