Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
