Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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