the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
