i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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