Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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