is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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