We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
