i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
