He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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