i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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