So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
