I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This is the high leading the old right now
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
