i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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