Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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