the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
