I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
