Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
