whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
high people should be assigned attendants
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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