With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
