I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
