i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
