haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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