You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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