You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
