hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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