And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
