who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
zippers are such a cool invention
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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