He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
