sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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