So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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