Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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